Category Archives: Health & Wellness

Health related news stories

On Dealing with Temporal & Spatial Dislocation in Bricklyn

Editor’s Note: The IBRT’s eagerly awaited Report has been publicly released. The Executive Summary is published below in this special post by The Bricklyn Eagle.

Executive Summary:

At the request of the Federal Council a team of ten medical professionals and scientists (“Impacts of Bricklyn’s Relocation Team,” herein referred to as the IBRT) was established to provide recommendations to the Council on how to best deal with the temporal and spatial dislocation that continues to affect a substantial number of Bricklynites as a result of the December 2021 relocation of the Realm of Bricklyn from a basement location within the territorial limits of the City of Burlington VT to one within the City South Burlington, VT, a distance of 5.2 miles.

Coincident with this move was the re-materialization of the Great Wall of Bricklyn in the new South Burlington location.

Unfortunately, the location of the Wall’s re-materialization did not completely align with its’ prior positioning in Burlington. This has exacerbated the mental health issues that remain at issue among a portion of the Bricklyn population.

Please note that the IBRT did not look into the science behind the phenomenon of the Great Wall’s re-materialization, as a separate team of scientists is investigating that matter.

IBRT leaders Kristensen and Strassbrick

The IBRT has been led by Chief Medical Officer of the Realm Kristen Plater (“KP”) Kristensen and Chief Scientist of the Realm, Michael Strassbrick. The IBRT has met numerous times over the past six months.

Highlighted below is our review of current literature and best practices for treatment of temporal and spatial dislocation, followed by our recommendations.

Review of the Literature & Best Practices:

Temporal and spatial dislocation are conditions in which an individual experiences a disruption in their sense of time and place, leading to confusion and disorientation. The treatment of these conditions can be challenging, as the underlying causes can be varied and complex. Summarized below are some of the current approaches to treating temporal and spatial dislocation.

1. One approach to treating temporal and spatial dislocation is through the use of medications. Anti-anxiety medications such as benzodiazepines and antipsychotic medications such as haloperidol have been shown to be effective in reducing symptoms of disorientation and confusion. However, the use of these medications can have side effects such as sedation and cognitive impairment, and they should be used cautiously. Their use on Bricklynites also needs to be carefully assessed.

Two Bricklynites: one well-adjusted, the other extremely anxious. How can Mr. X on the left, suffering from the effects of temporal & spatial dislocation, best be helped?

2. A second approach to treating temporal and spatial dislocation is through psychotherapy. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be effective in reducing symptoms of disorientation and confusion. CBT involves identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to the disorientation and confusion. While Bricklynites have historically had positive outlooks, it cannot be denied that the relocation was a singularly impactful event having significant impacts on many previously well-adjusted individuals.

3. Environmental modifications can also be helpful in reducing symptoms of temporal and spatial dislocation. Creating a calm and structured environment, with familiar objects and routines, can help individuals feel more grounded and less disoriented.

4. Finally, alternative therapies such as mindfulness meditation and yoga may also be beneficial in reducing symptoms of temporal and spatial dislocation and resulting anxieties. These practices can help individuals become more aware of their thoughts and feelings and develop greater self-regulation skills.📍

📍See, e.g., “Mindfulness Noninferior to Medication for Quelling Anxiety” (News From the JAMA Network, Jan. 3, 2023). “A mindfulness intervention was as effective as first-line medication for patients with anxiety disorders in a recent trial published in JAMA Psychiatry. The authors note that mindfulness interventions have grown in popularity and may be a more acceptable evidence-based treatment than antidepressants used to treat anxiety; two-thirds of people eventually stop taking a prescribed antidepressant, according to a survey the authors cited in the article. Cognitive behavioral therapy is also effective, but it may not be readily accessible to all patients, the authors observed.”

In conclusion, the treatment of temporal and spatial dislocation is complex and multifaceted. Medications, psychotherapy, environmental modifications, and alternative therapies may all be helpful in reducing symptoms and improving quality of life for individuals with these conditions.

Recommendations to the Federal Council from IBRT:

1. Begin to conduct Phase I clinical trials to assess the impact of anti-anxiety medications on groups of healthy Bricklyn volunteers to evaluate safety of these medications, in light of molecular differences between human and LEGO-based individuals.

2. Initiate a study of the impact of CBT on a cohort of Bricklynites, making use of three small teams of psychotherapists. Efforts should be made to include at least one Outland psychotherapist on each team, given their more extensive prior experience with CBT.

The existing blue & white meditation tent, and adjoining red and white mediation tent.

3. Construct a second meditation tent in Bricklyn or temporarily convert the existing Bricklyn mediation tent for use in offering meditation sessions. Also, initiate meditation classes for young people at the Bricklyn Regional High School.

4. The existing ten-member IBRT should continue to meet to monitor progress towards the recommendations contained in this Report. ✥

Henry Brickbelly & Jessica Tiler Jones with donuts and a croissant.

Agreement Brokered by “Gang of Four” Defuses Donut Crisis

February 11, 2023

by Bricklyn Eagle political correspondent Eric Tiler Corman

Prior articles on “The Great Donut Debate”

Summary of Article ➤ A petition calling for banning the sale and consumption of donuts in the Realm of Bricklyn has been withdrawn after successful efforts at mediating the dispute between pro and anti-donut groups.

In a series of behind-the-scenes meetings, a group of four mediators has brokered an agreement between pro-donut and pro-croissant groups.

Federal Council President Hilma Plater-Zybrick announced last night that a petition to ban the sale and consumption of donuts has been withdrawn, and that the Council will endorse both foods as “vital to the Realm,” and take steps to ensure that both are readily available for sale and consumption in Bricklyn.

Hilma Plater-Zybrick
Federal Council President Hilma Plater-Zybrick. Will her key role in resolving the donut crisis make it more likely she will decide to seek another term as Council President?

Plater-Zybrick showed her skill by leading the Council through this latest crisis. Plater-Zybrick was instrumental in bringing together the “Gang of Four,” the unofficial name given to the mediation team, comprised of two Bricklyn mediators, joined by two from the Outland city of South Burlington, Vermont.

As is required by the ethics of their profession, none of the mediators would offer any comments to the press. However, after speaking to some of the interested parties, we can report on how the parties reached an agreement, an agreement unanimously endorsed by the Federal Council last night.

Pro-croissant Henry Brickbelly and pro-donut Jessica Tiler Jones, celebrate the end of the “Great Bricklyn Donut Debate” by sharing a table outside The Exchange Building.

Henry Brickbelly, leader of “NoDos,” the anti-donut, pro-croissant advocacy group acknowledged that banning donuts “might have been a step too far.”

As Brickbelly explained, “the Gang of Four reminded us of the American experience with Prohibition in the 1920s and early ‘30s and how that led to higher levels of organized crime and bootlegging, the loss of thousands of jobs, and then the ultimate repeal of Prohibition. … We didn’t want to go down that road.”

Anti-donut forces also apparently realized that their petition’s prospects looked dim once news began circulating that the Council might request that the League of Inland Cities enshrine the donut’s status as an object of “intangible cultural heritage in Bricklyn.”

Outland Friends of Bricklyn also weighed in against the donut ban, and in favor of reaching some accommodation between those favoring donuts, and those favoring croissants.

Tom Brickorti of the Bricklyn Chamber of Commerce
Bricklyn Chamber of Commerce President Tom Brickorti

Chamber of Commerce President Tom Brickorti, noted that: “The mediation process with the Gang of Four worked well. The Chamber and various business interests reminded everyone of the continued economic benefits to Bricklyn from its donut shops and related enterprises, and the importance of keeping the Simpson clan here.

At the same time we were able to point to the increase in tourism from francophone nations already resulting from the new Le Bricklyn Hotel, and the fact that a French patisserie is planning to open here soon.”

As Brickorti added, “our pro-croissant friends are great people, who came to see that banning donuts was not needed in order to promote croissants. From the Chamber’s perspective valuing both donuts and croissants was a win-win outcome.“

Dave Tiler Broffman , CEO of Dunk Them Donuts, on upper North Street this morning — eyeing his donut, not the road.

Dave Tiler Broffman , CEO of Dunk Them Donuts, the Bricklyn-based donut distribution enterprise, echoed Brickorti’s sentiments, commenting that “we were all ultimately on the same page, in wanting to keep Bricklyn’s donut traditions alive, while also allowing for a new diversity of food cultures.”  

Chief Clancy Wiggum, head of the pro-donut Bricklyn Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association (BPBA) pointed out that “our members look forward to learning to appreciate the taste of croissants, especially,” he grinned, “when they’ll be delivered fresh out of the oven to the station house every morning, at no cost to our officers!” ✥

➤ For more on the use of mediation in resolving conflicts, see Building Consensus, by Lawrence Susskind & Patrick Field, from our companion publication, the Planning Commissioners Journal.

Sign: Postpone Meeting

Donut Debate Delayed as Action to Declare Donut “a Cherished Item of Intangible Cultural Heritage” is Considered

Sign: Postpone Meeting

February 7, 2023

by Eric Tiler Corman, Political Correspondent for The Bricklyn Eagle.

Dunk In Donut Hall, site of what was expected to be a contentious debate on whether to ban the sale of donuts in Bricklyn, will instead remain empty Wednesday night.

Federal Chancellor Malter Thurnbrick, in a just released public statement, said that the Federal Council’s consideration of a petition to ban the sale and consumption of donuts in the Realm has been postponed.

As Thurnbrick explained, “The Council needs additional time to review the many comments already submitted by all sides to the debate,” adding that, “we need to lower the temperature, not raise it.”

According to Dave Tiler Broffman , CEO of the Bricklyn-based donut distribution enterprise, Dunk Them Donuts, opponents of the donut ban are pressing the Federal Council to call on the League of Inland Cities to immediately designate the donut as a “cherished item of intangible cultural heritage”📍 within the Tripartite Realm of Bricklyn.

📍This type of designation by the League is comparable to the “intangible cultural heritage” designations made by the United Nations. See, e.g., “The U.N. Names the French Baguette an Item of ‘Intangible Cultural Heritage’ “ (Food Network, December 02, 2022) “The baguette joins other food items on the Intangible Cultural Heritage list, which UNESCO, the U.N.’s cultural body, says celebrates ‘traditions or living expressions inherited from our ancestors and passed on to our descendants.’ They include Belgian beer, Neapolitan pizza, kimchi, lavash and a Malawian porridge called nsima.”

Such a designation by the League of Inland Cities would likely torpedo efforts to limit the sale of donuts, let alone ban them.

It is important to note that the request for such a cultural heritage designation would need to be made by the Bricklyn Federal Council.

Chancellor Malter Thurnbrick outside of Federal Council chambers.

When this reporter reached Federal Chancellor Thurnbrick and asked whether the Council was contemplating any such action, Thurnbrick replied: “Right now, all options are on the table. But what the Council wants most is a result that will be acceptable to a large majority of citizens of the Realm. That is the goal the Council is aiming for.”

On a related note, we have learned from a high-level official within the Office of the Federal Chancellor that the Federal Council will be bringing in two Vermont-based Outlanders skilled in mediation to work with Bricklyn’s own team of seasoned mediators to resolve the controversy. ✥