Are the Gods Angry?

A Crisis from Above, Part 1

  • by Eric Tiler Corman, Bricklyn Eagle Politics correspondent & Duane Sandville, Outland Affairs correspondent.
  • August 19, 2021

Summary of Article ➤ A crisis atmosphere pervades Bricklyn, as thundering booms from the heavens shatter the peace & quiet of the Realm.

Bricklynites have been shaken by daily thunderous booms emanating from the skies. But when the look up, they seeing nothing out of the ordinary. The roaring booms have set babies crying, dogs barking, hearts pounding, conversations ceasing, and school classes halting. Tension levels have mounted, as reactions range from bewilderment to fear.

First thoughts of many were that some unknown meteorological disturbance was to blame. But denials by Bricklyn meteorologists and the frequency and continuation of the booms has now led voices to speak of divine anger.

Preacher Kahn and crowd in downtown Bricklyn yesterday, shaking longsticks toward the heavens.
Preacher Kahn with his most devoted follower, Evanora, behind him.

Preacher Johnny Plater Kahn has taken to the streets calling on Bricklynites to repent.

“Beware the wrath of God is upon us,” he recently pronounced during a KBBS News interview, adding that “Bricklynites will be paying for their sins of sloth and donut over-consumption.”

Crowds have gathered around Kahn, shaking black longsticks pointed to the sky.

The Hidden Truth

F-35 fighter jet. Photo from Shutterstock.

Unknown to the vast majority of Bricklynites, the Bricklyn Office of Outland Affairs, since this past March, has been aware of the true cause of the sonic booms: the introduction of shockingly loud F-35 fighter jets by the Vermont Air National Guard. These extremely high decibel jets are now rocketing almost daily over Burlington — and their sounds have reverberated in Bricklyn’s own air space.

July 7, 2021 issue of the Seven Days Vermont weekly paper focuses on the noise impacts of the new F-35 fighter jets based at the Burlington International Airport. See “Sound Effects: In the F-35’s Flight Path, Vermonters’ Lives Have Changed” by Colin Flanders. “The aircraft now fill the skies with thunderous noise twice a day, four days a week … Those who hear the jets are increasingly voicing their concerns.”

Members of the Samfundet🌀 have been informed of the situation. But because of limitations on the sharing of knowledge about Bricklyn’s twinned relationship with Burlington, 98% of Bricklynites are not aware of what is actually causing the booms.📍

📍We’ve previously reported on the Kyndige, the Samfundet, and the simulation hypothesis. See those posts for a fuller explanation of Bricklyn’s relationship to Burlington and why so many Bricklynites have been “kept in the dark.”

The surging number of Bricklynites attributing the booms to divine causation, evidenced by the growing popularity of Reverend J.P. Kahn and others, has triggered a crisis among Bricklyn leadership and the Samfundet on what to do.

Meanwhile, diplomatic efforts by Bricklyn consular officials to end the booms have reached an impasse, threatening the relationship between Bricklyn and Burlington.✥

Bricklyn Eagle Masthead

The Bricklyn Eagle will continue to report on this evolving crisis.

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