Category Archives: Politics

Articles that focus on political news and events in Bricklyn

Strike Ends! Bricklyn Eagle to Resume Publication

September 28, 2023

Bricklyn Eagle newspaper strike ends after 206 days. Shattered record for longest strike in Bricklyn history!

Hilma Plater-Zybrick

Federal Council President Hilma Plater-Zybrick calls for assistance from “Gang of Four” (GOF) in resolving strike, noting GOF’s success in defusing last Winter’s “Great Donut” crisis.

Photo of Plater-Zybrick on left. Photo of Gang of Four not available. Note: as part of the “mediators’ oath,” mediators do not allow their photos to be taken.

Fortunately, the Bricklyn newspaper strike did not reach this level of strife! photo credit, Aalter, Belgium – the painting “la liberte” displayed with lego figures.

GOF succeed in resolving long-standing labor dispute, addressing increased vacation time; limitations on use of AI; and implementation of daily donut allowance for all workers.

GOF members explain that “throwing away the key” and “locking both sides in a second floor office of the Exchange Building for 24 hours with only FOX News available” led to resolution of all key issues.

Photo of Exchange Building.

Newspaper Guild President  Thomas J. Brickify, Jr (below right wearing pressman’s attire) and Bricklyn Eagle CEO Jeff Brickzos (below left wearing shades) share donuts together after signing new three year agreement. Newspaper deliveryman cheers labor settlement.

Bricklyn Eagle Editor Walt Brickman says Eagle’s dedicated team of reporters and columnists “will catch readers up on important Bricklyn events and news that occurred over the past seven months.” Eagle set to resume publication the first week of October.

Loyal Outland readers rejoice: no longer “stuck with reading The New York Times and Washington Post every day,” and can now return to the “far more interesting news of Bricklyn,” long-time Bricklyn Eagle reader declares.

In honor of the Gang of Four’s Invaluable help in resolving the newspaper strike, Bricklyn Eagle Editor (and aspiring poet) Walt Brickman penned the following:

Photo of Editor Walt Brickman.

They Found Common Ground

In the bustling city, where printers once roared, A newspaper strike, a labor discord, But from the ashes, a new dawn unfurled, With stories untold, in a changed newspaper world.

Hail to the Gang of Four, heroes so bright, In the chaos of headlines, they brought us light, Their voices united, their message so clear, “We’ll end this ordeal, dispel all your fear!”

Together they stood, four pillars of grace, With empathy, wisdom, they’d win the race, They bridged the divides, they forged the accord, In the heart of the storm, their voices restored.

Through ceaseless negotiation, they found common ground, A pact was established, the lost trust was found, They fought for their rights with hearts full of rhyme, And ended the strife with more vacation time.

Limitations on AI, a thoughtful decree, To preserve our humanness, to let us be free, In a world of machines, we found our own way, In the poetry of print, where our hearts could sway.

No longer confined to the newsroom’s tight coil, Reporters now bask in their new found free soil, More hours of leisure, the gift of the day, To savor life’s pleasures in their own special way.

But that wasn’t all, for donuts then arrived, A daily delight, a treat so contrived, To sweeten the deal, to mend the divide, In sugary circles, our rifts set aside.

Henry Brickbelly & Jessica Tiler Jones with donuts and a croissant.

Agreement Brokered by “Gang of Four” Defuses Donut Crisis

February 11, 2023

by Bricklyn Eagle political correspondent Eric Tiler Corman

Prior articles on “The Great Donut Debate”

Summary of Article ➤ A petition calling for banning the sale and consumption of donuts in the Realm of Bricklyn has been withdrawn after successful efforts at mediating the dispute between pro and anti-donut groups.

In a series of behind-the-scenes meetings, a group of four mediators has brokered an agreement between pro-donut and pro-croissant groups.

Federal Council President Hilma Plater-Zybrick announced last night that a petition to ban the sale and consumption of donuts has been withdrawn, and that the Council will endorse both foods as “vital to the Realm,” and take steps to ensure that both are readily available for sale and consumption in Bricklyn.

Hilma Plater-Zybrick
Federal Council President Hilma Plater-Zybrick. Will her key role in resolving the donut crisis make it more likely she will decide to seek another term as Council President?

Plater-Zybrick showed her skill by leading the Council through this latest crisis. Plater-Zybrick was instrumental in bringing together the “Gang of Four,” the unofficial name given to the mediation team, comprised of two Bricklyn mediators, joined by two from the Outland city of South Burlington, Vermont.

As is required by the ethics of their profession, none of the mediators would offer any comments to the press. However, after speaking to some of the interested parties, we can report on how the parties reached an agreement, an agreement unanimously endorsed by the Federal Council last night.

Pro-croissant Henry Brickbelly and pro-donut Jessica Tiler Jones, celebrate the end of the “Great Bricklyn Donut Debate” by sharing a table outside The Exchange Building.

Henry Brickbelly, leader of “NoDos,” the anti-donut, pro-croissant advocacy group acknowledged that banning donuts “might have been a step too far.”

As Brickbelly explained, “the Gang of Four reminded us of the American experience with Prohibition in the 1920s and early ‘30s and how that led to higher levels of organized crime and bootlegging, the loss of thousands of jobs, and then the ultimate repeal of Prohibition. … We didn’t want to go down that road.”

Anti-donut forces also apparently realized that their petition’s prospects looked dim once news began circulating that the Council might request that the League of Inland Cities enshrine the donut’s status as an object of “intangible cultural heritage in Bricklyn.”

Outland Friends of Bricklyn also weighed in against the donut ban, and in favor of reaching some accommodation between those favoring donuts, and those favoring croissants.

Tom Brickorti of the Bricklyn Chamber of Commerce
Bricklyn Chamber of Commerce President Tom Brickorti

Chamber of Commerce President Tom Brickorti, noted that: “The mediation process with the Gang of Four worked well. The Chamber and various business interests reminded everyone of the continued economic benefits to Bricklyn from its donut shops and related enterprises, and the importance of keeping the Simpson clan here.

At the same time we were able to point to the increase in tourism from francophone nations already resulting from the new Le Bricklyn Hotel, and the fact that a French patisserie is planning to open here soon.”

As Brickorti added, “our pro-croissant friends are great people, who came to see that banning donuts was not needed in order to promote croissants. From the Chamber’s perspective valuing both donuts and croissants was a win-win outcome.“

Dave Tiler Broffman , CEO of Dunk Them Donuts, on upper North Street this morning — eyeing his donut, not the road.

Dave Tiler Broffman , CEO of Dunk Them Donuts, the Bricklyn-based donut distribution enterprise, echoed Brickorti’s sentiments, commenting that “we were all ultimately on the same page, in wanting to keep Bricklyn’s donut traditions alive, while also allowing for a new diversity of food cultures.”  

Chief Clancy Wiggum, head of the pro-donut Bricklyn Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association (BPBA) pointed out that “our members look forward to learning to appreciate the taste of croissants, especially,” he grinned, “when they’ll be delivered fresh out of the oven to the station house every morning, at no cost to our officers!” ✥

➤ For more on the use of mediation in resolving conflicts, see Building Consensus, by Lawrence Susskind & Patrick Field, from our companion publication, the Planning Commissioners Journal.

Sign: Postpone Meeting

Donut Debate Delayed as Action to Declare Donut “a Cherished Item of Intangible Cultural Heritage” is Considered

Sign: Postpone Meeting

February 7, 2023

by Eric Tiler Corman, Political Correspondent for The Bricklyn Eagle.

Dunk In Donut Hall, site of what was expected to be a contentious debate on whether to ban the sale of donuts in Bricklyn, will instead remain empty Wednesday night.

Federal Chancellor Malter Thurnbrick, in a just released public statement, said that the Federal Council’s consideration of a petition to ban the sale and consumption of donuts in the Realm has been postponed.

As Thurnbrick explained, “The Council needs additional time to review the many comments already submitted by all sides to the debate,” adding that, “we need to lower the temperature, not raise it.”

According to Dave Tiler Broffman , CEO of the Bricklyn-based donut distribution enterprise, Dunk Them Donuts, opponents of the donut ban are pressing the Federal Council to call on the League of Inland Cities to immediately designate the donut as a “cherished item of intangible cultural heritage”📍 within the Tripartite Realm of Bricklyn.

📍This type of designation by the League is comparable to the “intangible cultural heritage” designations made by the United Nations. See, e.g., “The U.N. Names the French Baguette an Item of ‘Intangible Cultural Heritage’ “ (Food Network, December 02, 2022) “The baguette joins other food items on the Intangible Cultural Heritage list, which UNESCO, the U.N.’s cultural body, says celebrates ‘traditions or living expressions inherited from our ancestors and passed on to our descendants.’ They include Belgian beer, Neapolitan pizza, kimchi, lavash and a Malawian porridge called nsima.”

Such a designation by the League of Inland Cities would likely torpedo efforts to limit the sale of donuts, let alone ban them.

It is important to note that the request for such a cultural heritage designation would need to be made by the Bricklyn Federal Council.

Chancellor Malter Thurnbrick outside of Federal Council chambers.

When this reporter reached Federal Chancellor Thurnbrick and asked whether the Council was contemplating any such action, Thurnbrick replied: “Right now, all options are on the table. But what the Council wants most is a result that will be acceptable to a large majority of citizens of the Realm. That is the goal the Council is aiming for.”

On a related note, we have learned from a high-level official within the Office of the Federal Chancellor that the Federal Council will be bringing in two Vermont-based Outlanders skilled in mediation to work with Bricklyn’s own team of seasoned mediators to resolve the controversy. ✥