New Bricklyn Monorail Draws Eyes Skyward

Bricklyn Eagle Masthead

November 3, 2023

by David Plater Blue, Metro Desk Reporter

Be sure to check out the Reader Responses to this article. Feel free to email your feedback to us at:

A crowd of Bricklynites looked skyward this afternoon as the Bricklyn Rail Transport Agency’s (BRTA) monorail service began operations, looping around South Bricklyn’s downtown core. Besides providing public transit to this growing commercial and residential area, the kilometer long monorail line avoids creating ground-level congestion.

Engineer and Federal Council member Bill B. Butler, aka “3B.” Bricklyn Eagle archive photo.

South Bricklyn Federal Council representative Bill B. Butler — who also works as a railroad engineer for Bricklyn’s “Brickstar” high speed rail line — applauded the inauguration of the monorail.

Butler explained that the Bricklyn Loop Monorail is based on that of the world-renowned Wuppertal, Germany, suspended monorail (“Schwebebahn”) system that has operated since 1901. As Butler noted, “for implementation in a LEGO city such as South Bricklyn, the BRTA monorail drew on the work of the talented LEGO design and engineering firm, JC Brickworks.”

Here’s a short video of the Bricklyn Loop Monorail in operation.

Disney Monorail. From Wikipedia.

According to Stephen Plater Mills, CEO of the BRTA, “the BRTA decided on constructing a suspended system, as used in Wuppertal, Germany, rather than a Disney-like monorail system.” As Mills noted, “the Wuppertal system has proven itself for more than a century with its suspended carriage design.”

Bricklyn Loop Monorail passing in front of the Railyard Jazz Club before arriving at Southside Loop Station.
Wuppertal, Germany, suspended monorail (the Schwebebahn). Photo from Wikipedia.

Mills also suggested that those interested in learning more about suspended monorails, should read about the 12km, 20 station, Wuppertal monorail line, or watch this YouTube video about suspended monorail systems, including a 2km line serving Germany’s Dusseldorf airport.

Dusseldorf Airport suspended monorail.
The Dusseldorf Airport suspended monorail. Photo by Konstantin von Wedelstaedt. Wikimedia Commons.

When asked whether Bricklynites should have any cause for alarm due to the infamous 1991 Springfield monorail disaster, CEO Mills acknowledged “the concerns some may have about monorail safety given that unfortunate event and the fact that Homer Simpson — implicated in the Springfield crash — is now living in Bricklyn” [see FAQ #5] and has been spotted loitering by the two monorail stations.”

Homer Simpson seen loitering by the Southside Monorail Station last week while the monorail was doing test runs. FYI, note the giant-size donuts Homer is carrying. Dave Tiler Broffman, CEO of Dunk Them Donuts, has just come out with these mega donuts, in an effort to redirect Bricklynites crowding into the newly opened Pastries by Patsy café back to Broffman’s Dunk Them Donuts shops. Photo by Bricklyn Eagle reporter David Plater Blue.

But, as Mills explained, “unlike the Springfield monorail, with its flimsy construction and untested solar-power design, our monorail has been carefully engineered and rigorously tested. With its dynamic motor, solid plastic construction, and state of the art remote WiFi controls, the Bricklyn Loop Monorail will provide Bricklynites with years of safe and convenient service.” As to Simpson, Mills declared, “keep him loaded with those mega donuts and he won’t cause any monorail mischief.”

See our Reader Responses to this article, including a Response & Video Questioning BRTA’s Safety Claims

Asked about future plans, Mills told us that “If the initial South Bricklyn loop proves successful, phase 2 will extend the line through the Great Wall of Bricklyn. As Mills noted, “this will allow connectivity with key locations, including Bricklyn University, the Bricklyn Medical Center, and BIA (Bricklyn International Airport).”

Mills did acknowledge that Outland visitors to Bricklyn would be unable to view this portion of an expanded monorail system, as it would run on the other side of the Great Wall. However, as Bricklyn Eagle readers know, Bricklyn’s top scientists have been looking into potential workarounds that someday would allow visitors to see those portions of the Realm currently blocked off by the Great Wall.

In the meantime, Bricklynites and tourists alike can enjoy a safe, quiet, and comfortable ride, while enjoying scenic views of Lake Bricklyn and South Bricklyn’s downtown buildings.✥

Excerpt from The Simpsons episode “Marge vs. the Monorail.” includes the classic closing line: “Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do.” Notably, the episode was written by Conan O’Brien, and includes the appearance of Leonard Nimoy. Also noteworthy, the role of solar power and its consequences for the monorail! For links to the full episode.

See our Reader Responses to this article, including a Response & Video Questioning BRTA’s Safety Claims

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