February 7, 2023

by Eric Tiler Corman, Political Correspondent for The Bricklyn Eagle.

Dunk In Donut Hall, site of what was expected to be a contentious debate on whether to ban the sale of donuts in Bricklyn, will instead remain empty Wednesday night.

Federal Chancellor Malter Thurnbrick, in a just released public statement, said that the Federal Council’s consideration of a petition to ban the sale and consumption of donuts in the Realm has been postponed.

As Thurnbrick explained, “The Council needs additional time to review the many comments already submitted by all sides to the debate,” adding that, “we need to lower the temperature, not raise it.”

According to Dave Tiler Broffman , CEO of the Bricklyn-based donut distribution enterprise, Dunk Them Donuts, opponents of the donut ban are pressing the Federal Council to call on the League of Inland Cities to immediately designate the donut as a “cherished item of intangible cultural heritage”📍 within the Tripartite Realm of Bricklyn.

📍This type of designation by the League is comparable to the “intangible cultural heritage” designations made by the United Nations. See, e.g., “The U.N. Names the French Baguette an Item of ‘Intangible Cultural Heritage’ “ (Food Network, December 02, 2022) “The baguette joins other food items on the Intangible Cultural Heritage list, which UNESCO, the U.N.’s cultural body, says celebrates ‘traditions or living expressions inherited from our ancestors and passed on to our descendants.’ They include Belgian beer, Neapolitan pizza, kimchi, lavash and a Malawian porridge called nsima.”

Such a designation by the League of Inland Cities would likely torpedo efforts to limit the sale of donuts, let alone ban them.

It is important to note that the request for such a cultural heritage designation would need to be made by the Bricklyn Federal Council.

When this reporter reached Federal Chancellor Thurnbrick and asked whether the Council was contemplating any such action, Thurnbrick replied: “Right now, all options are on the table. But what the Council wants most is a result that will be acceptable to a large majority of citizens of the Realm. That is the goal the Council is aiming for.”

On a related note, we have learned from a high-level official within the Office of the Federal Chancellor that the Federal Council will be bringing in two Vermont-based Outlanders skilled in mediation to work with Bricklyn’s own team of seasoned mediators to resolve the controversy. ✥