September 28, 2023

Bricklyn Eagle newspaper strike ends after 206 days. Shattered record for longest strike in Bricklyn history!

Federal Council President Hilma Plater-Zybrick calls for assistance from “Gang of Four” (GOF) in resolving strike, noting GOF’s success in defusing last Winter’s “Great Donut” crisis.

Photo of Plater-Zybrick on left. Photo of Gang of Four not available. Note: as part of the “mediators’ oath,” mediators do not allow their photos to be taken.

IStock.com photo credit, Aalter, Belgium – the painting “la liberte” displayed with lego figures.

GOF succeed in resolving long-standing labor dispute, addressing increased vacation time; limitations on use of AI; and implementation of daily donut allowance for all workers.

GOF members explain that “throwing away the key” and “locking both sides in a second floor office of the Exchange Building for 24 hours with only FOX News available” led to resolution of all key issues.

Photo of Exchange Building.

Newspaper Guild President  Thomas J. Brickify, Jr (below right wearing pressman’s attire) and Bricklyn Eagle CEO Jeff Brickzos (below left wearing shades) share donuts together after signing new three year agreement. Newspaper deliveryman cheers labor settlement.

Bricklyn Eagle Editor Walt Brickman says Eagle’s dedicated team of reporters and columnists “will catch readers up on important Bricklyn events and news that occurred over the past seven months.” Eagle set to resume publication the first week of October.

Loyal Outland readers rejoice: no longer “stuck with reading The New York Times and Washington Post every day,” and can now return to the “far more interesting news of Bricklyn,” long-time Bricklyn Eagle reader declares.

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In honor of the Gang of Four’s Invaluable help in resolving the newspaper strike, Bricklyn Eagle Editor (and aspiring poet) Walt Brickman penned the following:

Photo of Editor Walt Brickman.

They Found Common Ground

In the bustling city, where printers once roared, A newspaper strike, a labor discord, But from the ashes, a new dawn unfurled, With stories untold, in a changed newspaper world.

Hail to the Gang of Four, heroes so bright, In the chaos of headlines, they brought us light, Their voices united, their message so clear, “We’ll end this ordeal, dispel all your fear!”

Together they stood, four pillars of grace, With empathy, wisdom, they’d win the race, They bridged the divides, they forged the accord, In the heart of the storm, their voices restored.

Through ceaseless negotiation, they found common ground, A pact was established, the lost trust was found, They fought for their rights with hearts full of rhyme, And ended the strife with more vacation time.

Limitations on AI, a thoughtful decree, To preserve our humanness, to let us be free, In a world of machines, we found our own way, In the poetry of print, where our hearts could sway.

No longer confined to the newsroom’s tight coil, Reporters now bask in their new found free soil, More hours of leisure, the gift of the day, To savor life’s pleasures in their own special way.

But that wasn’t all, for donuts then arrived, A daily delight, a treat so contrived, To sweeten the deal, to mend the divide, In sugary circles, our rifts set aside.